God has a sense of humor. We never quite understand the journey he's bringing us through until we've officially arrived at the destination. I'm learning one must trust the process regardless of the drought or the haze ahead. To be honest, I don't have a testimony that my past labels me as drug addict, sexually active or domestic violence, but I'm learning that maybe my story can at least touch one heart. It’s never been easy nor will it be, but not rushing the process is key. Hi, I'm Nirzie, I’m 28 years old and I’m a virgin.
There was three things my mom always encouraged my siblings and I to stay focused on as kids: God, school and abstinence. I never understood the importance of waiting on the person you marry, to have sex with until now. I realized at an early age that I had a calling over my life and the only thing that made sense for me to keep a hold off until marriage was my virginity. I put it on lock down-lol. No, I’m not bashing or judging others past circumstances especially rape or molestation, nor am I pointing fingers. Yes, there are still women and men all over the world who has decided to wait until marriage to experience sex for the first time and yes its okay if while reading this you don’t believe me. I’ve been in several relationships with men and I’ve been tempted and tired like the next person who was curious and couldn’t resist sex. I thought waiting until marriage to have sex would be praised, but instead I was looked down on. I’ve been ridiculed, made fun of and even lost friendships because of my decision to be abstinent until married. People tend to paint this label of perfection on “virgins” almost like a disease you’ll catch. Like “Oh My Gosh Nirzie, how will you know what you’ll like if you don’t test drive the men you date?” or “No man is going to want you, you’re still a virgin”, and “you think you’re so perfect-no sex, what’s your problem?” The great thing about growth is I’ve removed expectations of what people think and feel about how I should live my life, period. I may not be able to personally relate to others who have a story of survival like the rapper Eminem, but deciding to remain abstinent until marriage is a journey of pure temptation. Along this journey people will feel the need to tell you that something is wrong with you. But one thing that has encouraged me immensely, is hearing other women and men stories about having premarital sex, because they thought at the time their partner was “the one”, which most of the time their relationship did not end well because sex was the forefront. I had to ask myself, “am I really missing out?” Now please understand me when I say “THE STRUGGLE IS REAL!” I may not fully understand the ‘urge’ or ‘itch’ that a person who has had sex before has, but I do have those desires-I’m human. I have hope for my future and what God has in store for me. Even though many people in the church and even outside of church have definitely brought discouragement my way, I continually decide to wait to have sex until marriage. I know my time to meet my future husband is nearer than I think. My story is part of this journey I’m being guided on.
Women don’t need to have the expectation that every relationship requires sex to make it “work.” People forget soul ties are real. You end up attaching yourself to someone you had no business being intimate with, when you were only supposed to simply learn something from the relationship or friendship in that season. I just feel like both men and women need to know and understand their worth more. The woman a man chooses to be his girlfriend/wife can alter his destiny. “Behind every great man is a great woman.” I believe I am already that great woman in my journey towards remaining pure.
"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”
-Song of Solomon 2: 7